This is very powerful. I got it from bpkid.com

A Terrible Wish

Anonymous (a physician)

I have a terrible wish that breaks my heart. I wish my son had childhood leukemia instead of what he does have, a mental illness called childhood bipolar disorder (BP).

You see, if only my son had childhood leukemia instead of BP…

He would have a 90% chance of being cured and only a 10% chance of dying.

Family and friends would rally to support him and us. They would stay at his bedside. They would send cards and balloons and flowers. They would prepare meals for us. They would be there for him and us.

Foundations would answer his fondest wish, and professional athletes and clowns would come to his bedside to bring him a smile.

He would be treated on a caring cancer ward in a beautiful children's hospital made possible by gifts from private individuals and foundations. Our insurance company would not put a limit on the number of days he could spend in the hospital, and there would be plenty of outstanding pediatric oncologists willing to treat him.

If he needed $100,000 for a bone marrow transplantation, medical insurance would cover it. If not, family, friends, and strangers would donate money to ensure that he received the life-saving treatment.

But my son does not have leukemia. He has a mental illness and…

He has more than an 18% chance of dying from suicide or drug overdose or some other complication of his illness, and there is no hope for a cure -- only the hope that maybe someday he can take care of himself.

Family and friends avoid us. They do not rally to help us. They do not ask how he is and how we are. They are not there for him or us.

There are no foundations seeking to grant his wishes, and professional athletes and clowns do not come to give him a smile. Our son has a mental illness, and that means his illness is not like leukemia, because surely it is his fault or our fault or both. His illness is certainly not something worth caring about. His wishes are not worth granting, and few people want to volunteer their time just to bring him a smile.

There is no beautiful psychiatric ward for him, because who would want to waste their gifts on children like him? Instead, we close psychiatric facilities for children and put up barriers to their receiving treatment. Our insurance company limits inpatient coverage to 30 days a year, so we pray he does not need more than that. Insurance companies do not adequately pay child psychiatrists, so, naturally, there is a shortage, and we feel lucky because we were able to get a child psychiatrist to care for our son.

If he ever needs residential treatment, which may require many months of therapy, our medical insurance will not pay for it. Family, friends, and strangers will not come forward to raise the $100,000 that is needed for this treatment, no matter how life-saving it may be.

Yes, if my son had leukemia, he would have a realistic chance of being cured, and would receive the best possible medical care and the support of family and friends and strangers. But he doesn't. He has BP, and that means inadequate medical care, cold indifference from others, and no hope for a cure.

What a terrible wish for a father to have. To wish that your son had leukemia instead of what he does have, a mental illness called bipolar disorder.

Copyright 2001.

By Trina~moderator on Wednesday, October 13, 2004 - 06:40 pm:

Wow. It's very sad that this is true.

By Tink on Wednesday, October 13, 2004 - 10:40 pm:

That is so sad. Seth's ASD falls somewhere in between the extremes. Other parents look at me like I can't control my child but, due to recent publicity, more and more funding and knowledge is out there. Hopefully, that will happen with some of these other "invisible" illnesses.

By Kaye on Thursday, October 14, 2004 - 07:43 am:

I think that poems has some interesting points, but I have a dad with mental illness but lost my mother to leukemia. Yes it is tough to get the help my dad needs at times, yes he spends time in the hospital, but btdt with leukemia and then again with my dad's second wife with breast cancer, if I never saw an oncology floor in my entire life I would be happy. Certainly our mental health patients need some options. As far as friends and family rallying. Well just as you always have a close friend or two that help out now, I can guarantee that cancer doesn't really bring that either. You get lots of cards saying "we are praying for you", but people are scared of cancer and they shut you out to. Sorry, this hit a very raw spot with me.

By Marcia on Friday, October 15, 2004 - 10:44 am:

Although I understand what he's saying, it still makes me feel sick. He sure makes childhood leukemia seem like something that does nothing but get you lots of support, and then you walk away smiling. What he doesn't mention is the meds that are often worse than the disease, mouth sores, non stop back pokes and blood transfusions, barf buckets, isolation from family and friends, living in the hospital, skid marks across foreheads from light touch due to lack of platelets, and then burying your child who had a 90% chance of beating the monster. This is my nephew's story, and the story of so many kids I now suport.
It was sick of him to compare the 2 at all. Each is horrible.

By Cat on Friday, October 15, 2004 - 03:39 pm:

Having lost several family members to cancer, I'd NEVER wish this for my own son. I do get what he's saying, though. It's a sad fact that some diseases and disorders are accepted by the general population and some are not. When people don't see something obviously physically wrong, they chalk our kids behavior up to bad parenting or just them being a rotten kid. Even if they do know the real source of the problem, some people refuse to believe it could actually happen--our kids really can't have something chemically wrong in their brains. I deal with that in the school all the time. 'Robin's not unstable or out of control because of his bipolar--he's CHOOSING to act that way.' They just see a kid trying to manipulate them/me and sometimes that's just not true. So like I said, I'd never with what the author wished. I would like people to learn about and understand bp, though.