The grey area of ADHD
Moms View Message Board: Parenting Children with Special Needs: The grey area of ADHD
Ok, I know I once asked the questions months ago about my sons teacher thinking hes got "ADHD", he will be 10 in August, and just got done with the 4th grade.
All through school Ive always heard that my son talks too much.. Ok, until 4th grade no other comments were made other then that. He always got good grades, mostly B's...
This teacher though, kept telling me, how he had a hard time staying focused, talked too much etc..
Hes also had a hard time with some "bulleys' in his class this yr, who had beenmean to him, hitting, pushing him, breaking his pencils'...This bothered my son alot as he doesnt do those things..
Anyways, 3rd marking period my son got 3 D's.. My son has never got 3 D's EVER... and this really disturbed me.. Anyways, teacher kept saying he has a hard time focusing..
Well we got really strict with him, over looked every piece of homework, report that went home. Last report card, he brought up the 3 Ds to 3 B's.. Now if my son truley had ADHD, would he have been able to bring up those grades with no medication?
I really believe its because of the boy who bullied him why his work slipped.
Hes a boy who can go in his room, and read a book cover to cover, he can sit for hrs and do and work ona 1000 piece puzzle by himself, or sit on the floor of his room and organize and sort through his Yu Gi Oh cards.. he doesnt jump from activity to activity not even when hes younger...
But yet his behavior in school is different.
So my question is there this big HUGE greyarea with ADHD where my son may fit? Or is the teacher just trying to label him..
Iwill be taking my kids for their checkups on June 30th, so will be asking the pediatrician her opinions.
The strange thing to me is, all the parents Iknow who have kids his age,, all tell me the same thing about their sons behavior. Do all these kids have ADHD? Isnt there just some behaviors normal to boys in this age group?
First and foremost, a teacher CANNOT diagnose ADHD. She/he can certainly comment on behaviors like lack of focus, attention, etc... but as far as a dx, that's a dr's job. IMHO, it sounds to me like there was something going on with your son that was effecting his schoolwork- but most likely probably not ADHD. I would certainly mention it to your ped if you want, but there are LOTS of reasons kids can have trouble focusing and paying attention. THat's why ADHD is so hard to dx. My child (who has it) certainly would not have improved simply by me checking his homework!  Getting him to DO his homework is SOOOOO hard (and he is on meds). If he doesn't take his meds, there is NO WAY I could get him to do ANYTHING! (except watch TV/ play on the computer!)
Ditto Laura. If you are truly concerned that your son could be ADD/ADHD then bring it up to your ped. But it's not the teacher's call. Technically, for a dx of ADHD it must be present in two or more environments, so if your ds isn't having problems at home most docs won't dx him. It does sound like there were other things going on at school that were probably affecting his work. It urks me when teachers and the staff at schools think they're child psychologists and can dx problems in kids. That's what the docs went to school for. Yes, teachers can alert parents to potential problems, but they need to leave dx's to the medical professionals. I can watch most kids and have a hunch, but I would NEVER tell a parent "You're child is ADHD." I might say I see some behavior that could warrant an evaluation, but that's it. I'm not a doctor (nor do I play one on tv! lol).
Another thought--there are different aspects of ADHD. There are attention problems. That's doesn't mean no attention span--it could mean an abnormal attention span. Robin can sit for hours playing gameboy or playing with pokemon cards. Or he can flit from one thing to another and getting him to sit through a meal is almost torture (for everyone involved). Another aspect is impulsivity. I've heard it described as walking by a wet paint sign. Most people wonder if the paint is really wet or not, but refrain from touching it to see. People with ADHD sometimes can't help but touch it. They often do things without thinking. I'm always on Robin to think before he does something. The last area is hyperactivity. That's the difference between ADD/ADHD. Not all kids with ADD are hyper. Some are actually very calm and seem to daydream a lot. They're the ones that have focusing problems. Robin was blessed with all aspects of ADHD. lol That kid can go 200mph all day long! For us, medication is a wonderful thing. It doesn't solve all his problems, but it really helps.
There's a wealth of info on ADHD online. Just do a google search. Educate yourself and like I said, if YOU feel you need to bring it to your ped then do. It can't hurt. Go with your gut on this. Not all kids that have problems in school have ADHD (or whatever the "in" problem is at the time). Good luck and we're always here. {{{{{Jackie}}}}}
My dd was just dx adn she is 4th grade. One of the differences in her and other kids, is yes others have problems, but they step up to the plate and it doesn't affect their grades. I was a sp ed teacher and I didn't catch it, it just looks very different than the hyper ones. How does your son sleep? Does he go to bed late, does he stay in his room for a long time before getting to sleep. Is he hard to wake in the morning? Is his room clean? does he eat well? Is he moody? Does he have fears? Is he anxious or worried often? My daughter had all these things, but I wrote them off, so she laid in her bed sometimes an hour before she was actually sleeping, in contrast most kids are asleep within 15 minutes. As far as bringing his grades up, he didn't do this, you did. One of the most important things with adhd is behavior modification. He can be taught, but it takes longer than other kids. Really it is the organizational skills that bring their grades down, not the academic info. Good luck.
We have decided to have our dd (going into 5th) tested this summer. We have been dancing around the issue since PreK. Teachers have never brought up a specific diagnosis, but we have heard the same complaints every year. This year the lack of ability to organize and concentrate were very noticeable. It's becoming more and more important with every year of school to be organized.
Kaye, you have described my dd in so many ways!
Ditto the part about it being in more than one location. I forgot to mention that. My son also HYPERfocuses on tv and computer. It's an attention problem- not an attention span problem. My son is not "hyper" per say, but very impulsive. He also has other dx which is also very common with ADHD. Cat- if you have any strategies to teach RObin to think before he does something, I'd love to hear them. We were just having this talk (again) last night. I swear my son has to try EVERYTHING and make the mistake the "hard" way. It's so tough!
As far as these questions go, I'll answer for my son:
How does your son sleep? OK- but has trouble falling asleep. When things are bad, he wakes in teh night with anxiety. Does he go to bed late, does he stay in his room for a long time before getting to sleep. Yes. Is he hard to wake in the morning? Yes. Is his room clean? No. does he eat well? Yes. Is he moody? Yes. Does he have fears? YES Is he anxious or worried often? YES.
BUT...my son, as I have said has other dx's as well. One of them, which causes most of these issues for him is Generalized Anxiety Disorder.
Oh, Laura, I WISH I had some answers! lol We just deal with it on a daily basis. Behavior modification may work for some kids, but not Robin. Then again, he has other things he's dealing with also (bipolar, possibly OCD, ODD and asperger's).
I'll answer Kaye's questions, too.
How does your son sleep? Usually well, once he's asleep. Is prone to night terrors is over tired or over stimulated.
Does he go to bed late, does he stay in his room for a long time before getting to sleep. He's on clonidine now to help him get to sleep because he would lay in bed for literally hours before falling asleep.
Is he hard to wake in the morning? Oh yeah!
Is his room clean? Yeah, right. (you caught the sarcasm there, didn't you???)
does he eat well? Sometimes. Likes to snack a lot. He's a grazer.
Is he moody? VERY! But he's also bipolar.
Does he have fears? Some, but doesn't like to admit them.
Is he anxious or worried often? Sometimes. Usually when he's going through the depression part of the bipolar. Before medication he would worry constantly and he had major seperation anxiety (even went through some of that just this past year--couple of months ago).
ADHD often has comorbid dx's. Usually along the lines of ld's, tourettes, bipolar, ODD, and OCD. There are others also, but I can't think of them now.
I think ADHD is on a continuum and you can be lightly effective by it or have a severe issue with it.
My son's ADHD is really evident in an academic environment. At home you only notice it bec he talks A LOT and in a louder voice than other kids. You can totally see it during HW time. He doesn't bounce off walls or go thing to thing to thing.
My son attends a private school for LD and/or ADHD kids. My son has both. They will not accept unmedicated ADHD kids. The school really belives these kids need medication to help their ADHD symptoms so they can succeed in school.
My son is not teachable without the medication. I did blind studies with his public school teachers and there was a clear difference on the days he was on and off medication.
I'll defend teachers (although I'm not one) and say they want kids to succeed. They are under so much pressure with these state tests and No Child Left Behind that they want kids to do their best so it makes them look good.
When my son was in public school I volunteered in the classroom a lot and it was quite the eye-opener. I watched a couple of kids that the school had asked the parents to get an ADHD evaluation (and the parents refused to consider it) and I saw how much these kids struggled in the classroom and how they were targets of bullies and how the other kids in the classroom were being let down in their academic pursuit.
My advice is try meds and if it doesn't help, stop them.
Personally I would take my son out of school and home school him rather than give medication.
If you want to check out risks of adhd medicine, you can go to
google and put in medication name
such as ritalin side effects
so you can judge the benefits and negatives yourself.
Of course ritalin has been around forever so the side effects are very well know now.
http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&q=ritalin+side+effects
Thank you everybody for your responses.. I still believe there is such a grey area.. But plan on talking to the dr on Wednesday..
About questions mentioned above
My son falls asleep with in 5 minutes of going to bed.Hes usually in bed before 9pm everynight,and is easy to get up.
He wakes up in a good mood.
His room is sometimes messy, but so is mine.. I dont harp on it, as Im certainly no neat freak .
myself
He eats well...I try to steer to the more healthy choices, and because Ive always been overweight, hes a label checker like me..
Does he have worries and fears? Well dont all children have some?
He does NOT worry about monsters and things like that.
His biggest worry now is that he mayget a shot at his physical on Wednesday..
When it came to homework..well he always rushed through it.. but when he was being punished(no going outside, except on weekends)he would take his time and do it correctly.. We found out he was rushing through his homework because he wanted to go out and play with the new kids in the nexthouse..
Hes not very moody, except when he doesnt get his way? But is that a sign of ADHD, or is it a sign of just being a kid..
Ive seen many kids in stores who are extremely moody because Mom doesnt let them get what they want.?
So are all these moody kids in stores, or playgrounds(when Mom sais "time to go"_)have some form of ADHD..
See where my confusion comes in..
He sounds fine to me. He is getting b's and he isn't driving you crazy at home.
Perhaps he isn't a perfect robot at school. So what?
Jackie, obviously none of us are in a position to diagnose, only make comments based on personal experience. To me he sounds like a normal kid. I have a personal bias against ADD/ADHD though. I think it is waaaay overdiagnosed and kids are over-medicated. Before anyone gets in a huff, I do believe ADD/ADHD exists and I believe *some* kids need medication, but very few. As for adult ADHD I think adults are capable of learning coping strategies and need no medication at all.
I don't think you are looking at a "grey area." I think your son is just wanting to play more than work and had some emotional difficulties due to bullying that manifested itself in his schoolwork. Sounds like a schedule and routine with positive reinforcement and parent involvement works wonders for him. My youngest DS (7 y/o) is very busy, but does great in school. He moves a lot and has to constantly keep a check on talking too much, but he does fine in school. He's just VERY social and I think he's probably a kinesthetic learner, so he learns best by movement. He's also a very gifted little athlete.
In response to the medication issue, my son is also unteachable without meds. I also did some "blind studies" to see what happened when he was off them and he was WAY out of control. So, as far as home schooling him, that wouldn't work either. It got to the point that I worried more about the risk of depression and suicide than I did about the side effects of the meds. Believe me, it is not a decision I take lightly (or continue to take lightly). Every time I give it to him (twice a day) I ask myself, "Am I doing the right thing?"
I agree with Pam that it probably is an emotional issue with your son, but that's hard to say especially because a) I'm not a dr and b) I'm only going on what you wrote and don't know him/have never seen him. As far as the moodiness issues, I'm not sure where those questions are coming from, but as I said before that describes a lot of different issues and not necessarily ADHD.
LOL, Cat! I was hoping you had a magic cure for me! Maybe some day my "lessons" will sink in!
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