We are going to pull DS out of regular preschool
Moms View Message Board: Parenting Children with Special Needs: We are going to pull DS out of regular preschool
The seit teacher recommended it and I agree.
What a horrible experience that last three months have been. It is as if the regular ed teacher was trying to make our lives miserable.
We doubt that another regular ed school can accommodate ds distractablity at this time.
Seems silly to be that regular ed can't accomodate a potty trained super brite three year old, but I guess he is too much work for them.
I am actually relieved because I am not trusting the regular ed teacher anymore. She left ds in the office the other day for 10 minutes because she was busy with the class. Just one of a series of events
trying to exclude my son from the classroom activities.
This has been a horrible three month with me developing sleep disturbances from the problem of the week at the school.
We are going to keep him in regular preschool until we can find a placement for ds at a special education school. At least the end of the torture is in sight.
I think ds developed alot of skill while in the regular education environment ( potty trained - knows his lower and upper case letter - knows sounds of letters.) But at three years old his distractablity and emerging social skills are what are really excluding him from the regular ed classroom.
I feel kind of horrible because ds will be away from the house for 8 hours a day due to the bus and 5 and a half hour special ed program, but I guess it is the only resolution.
I can't teach him social classroom skills at home because he is a little angel at home. I am not seeing the distractablity that they see in the classroom.
Please pray for my little boy. I am not a hundred percent comfortable with this solution but I guess it will have to do.
I certainly will be praying for him! We are having trouble with my sons preschool too. Actually only one teacher there. Everyday its something. She never and I mean never has anything nice to say about my son. He does this, he does that. My son is a good boy, all of the other teachers even say how well mannered he is and how he behaves. Only this one teacher. She thinks that he has ADD or has a learning disablity. I really don't think so. He is above average for his age as far as learning goes. I just don't know. I hope for the best for you and your son. Would you mind telling me what distractablity is.
I am not sure what it means. I think he doesn't listen to the teacher in the classroom because there are alot of sounds and people and interesting things. So he comes off as head strong when actually he is very compliant one on one.
Feona, can you keep him in the school and possibly get a TSS to work with him so he is with the other kids but still has someone working with him one on one? We've had a few children in our preschool that had this and it really helped the children.
We already have a special ed teacher in the class 10 hours a week. Push in speech 1 1/12 hours and push in ot too.
The tension is so thick when I drop ds off. DS doesn't seem to be able to cooperate with the teachers and do what they want. I don't think it is his fault, I just think he is overwhelmed.
I guess I can't even blame the teachers. They really don't have the skills or ability to deal with him in the classroom. He really is very good one on one though.
The seit teacher said I can't trust regular ed teacher to be understanding around ds because he comes off as not cooperative. If you aren't trained to deal with a sensory overloaded child you can lose your temper and hurt him or constantly yell at him to do what you want. 
She also said his play skills and social skills are at least a year behind his age.
I don't know, he is doing so well, but the seit teacher is calling a meeting. She thinks the school situation is intolerable. I think she is right.
What is a seit teacher? Never heard of one.
I agree it's time to find a better environment for your DS. I pulled my DS out of a preschool at 3. The two teachers were older and condescending, even to me. My son is a bright, happy go lucky, laid back kid. Driving into the school parking lot reduced him to tears. NOT usual behavior for him. I enrolled him in a different preschool and it made a HUGE difference.
sending prayers your way Feona.Good luck!
You know,sometimes change is good.
you may be surprised and this will result in a positive thing.
I hope it does.Not all pre-schools are the same (which kind of shocked me because I thought they had to be).
We were very fortunate to have enrolled my oldest daughter in a pre-school that had the BEST teacher.
She gave her all.
Anna grew so much those two years.
Then we moved and my two other dk`s were enrolled in schools near our home
and to say the least I was very disappointed.
I could not believe the difference,
I believe some people are teaching and they truly picked the wrong profession.
I could tell that they did not enjoy their jobs.
Most of the time my dk`s did not want to go.
I ended up taking my ds out of the 3 year old program because he would cry and cry.
He only was enrolled in the 4 year old program.
So I guess what I am trying to say or I am hoping for your son is that this change will be good
I don`t think it could be worse than what he was experiencing at his other school.
Also you stated 8 hours seemed long.
Can you volunteer one day in the class room?
Maybe that will help?
Well,good luck and keep us posted.
Actually we have decided to wait until April or so.
Ds is on a waiting list for a special ed preschool near our house and they said he could get in about April.
Things have really calmed down now. I think it helps the regular ed teachers to know there is an end in sight.
Plus, regular ed is really benefiting ds TREMENDOUSLY. If things get better maybe he we can delay or eliminate the start of the special education school altogether.
Seit is a shadowing special ed teacher. One on one help in regular ed classroom.
DS classroom has pretty much 3 teachers to 8 kids all the time. Special education would be 18 kids and 3 teachers.
As long as they are nice to ds and I don't have a heart attack from stress I would prefer him to stay in regular ed.
The director of special ed in our town told me I should keep him where he is. The seit is recommending special education class due to the regular ed teachers not knowing what to do with ds overstimulation problem. DS is never in the regular ed class without a seit or speech teacher pretty much so I think it is a safe place for him.
See if you tell someone to do something and they don't do it some people get angry at the person who doesn't do what they want. That is the real issue.
I guess there are no monsters just everyone overwhelmed by the situation.
Actually the special ed class wouldn't be the end of the world. It is 5 hours a day - 5 days a week and I could drive him everyday since it is only 20 minutes away. I would still be able to do extra activities with ds and I wouldn't be getting chest pains every week.
I think everything is going to improve now though.
We are going to try a special therapy with light and modulated sounds and I think something else.
They give it to autistic children to help them balence the brains. I will see if I can find a link.
I guess I don't know the whole story here or what exactly your son has been diagnosed with, but if he's overwhelmed by it all, why not just avoid preschool altogether at this point? He's only three, why not just keep him at home and let him play with you and have playdates and go on fun museum or park trips, and just keep him out of school? The only law in NYS is that children first grade and up be educated either in a school setting, or an official homeschooling setting. Your son is a long way away from first grade. He could remain home until he's six if you wanted! You might get some awesome results that way. Maybe he just needs time--they don't all develop at the same rate. You sound like you really enjoy spending time with your son and would miss him for eight hours each day. I think that is way too much for a three year old. You say he's an angel for you at home. If it was me I'd just continue that scenario! He's obviously happy at home with you, and that's why he behaves accordingly. I know you want him to develop socially and academically, but again, he's only three and it will all come at some point.
I know I don't have the whole story, it just seems to me that if it's a bad situation at school, but a good situation at home, I'd scrap school and just keep him home and enjoy him.
I just wanted to say that children with emotional issues (ADD ADHD Etc.) are not learning disabled in the since that they are under intelligent. Actually More times than not they more intelligent than a "normal" child would be. Which can causes emotional distress on the child. They often are overwhelmed and with time they suffer because of the condition (ADD ADHD Etc.) to the point of falling behind in class. But they are not what you would consider mentally slow. Many well known people have behaviors that are seen as mental illness. Einstein being one of them. So just because a child excels in books doesn't mean their isn't an under lying issue. But in the same turn I think ADHD ADD are to easily thrown around these days that many children are key holed and improperly treated because of unlearned skills. But anyway, I just don't want someone thinking because their child does well in school that their child is fine. Or that every slow child has a mental illness. One thing doesn't always point to the other.
And Feona follow your gut. If the red flags are waving in your face don't suck it up and wait for the next shoe to drop. JMHO
Feona, my input here..lol. First when we finally made the decision to put my son in the special ed program, I really stuggled with. What behaviours might he pick up? Will he still grow or will this stunt him? I don't want to have a "special" kid, i don't want the stigma of the label etc. We had a great experience with it. He had two teachers to 12 kids and they knew EXACTLY how to handle him. They loved him and all his quirks like no one could ask them to. So all my fears were very soon put to rest and we had an awesome school year. Now the year before we didn't have a bad year from my sons perspective, he liked it, but his teachers struggled, I struggled, no chest pains, but lots of crying. He did okay in the reg program, but he certainly excelled in the special ed program, matter of fact he did so well he qualified himself right out of the program. Second, in hindsight I wish I had just kept him home! There is nothing those people can do for my child that I could not (except speech, which he didn't need). Yes he drove me a bit crazy, but in the summers I had a sitter come for a few hours each week and I did my thing. As for social skills, find places to work with him, arrange play dates, sign up for library hours etc. Find what interests him and then work around that. Anyway in many ways I agree with Kate. I know that it can be hard and tiring to take care of a child who needs alot. But I have finally come to the conclusion in my life that it was hard because I was fighting him. My child loves to color, will do it for hours, I didn't want to sit and let him just do this all day, even though that was easy. So we fought, then it dawned on me, okay well I can color with him, we can go paint/ceramics together. We can go to the children's museum where they tell a story and do a craft. You know, find social things based on HIS interest. It sure is much easier now! Just remember this too shall pass!
An example of his issue: At karate they have a big mirror. DS can't stop look at himself in the mirror and he doesn't hear the teacher telling him what exercise to do. The teacher has to constantly redirect his attention away from the mirror to the exercise(with no luck at all) That is an example of being Visual distracted.
Ds is behind in his socialization skills by at least a year, so the three hours of preschool a day - 5 days a week is very good for him.
I couldn't schedule 3 hours of him playing with kids every day. All I want him to do is play with other kids at school.
DS doesn't have adhd or add. He can sit and listen to a story for over an hour, then want to sit and draw with you for another hour, then want to sit and play with play doh for another hour.
My husband was explaining to him the inside of the body for over an hour the other day. He understood everything my husband said. He came over to me as said, "This is my veins" - Pointing to the veins on his hand. Then pointed to my chest and said "This is your lungs."
But when they were doing a super fun baseball type activity at Karate, he could focus alittle better because he wanted to play the kick the baseball game. He just need more practice learning to Focus on What is important. I think if he could have more opportunities to do activities like that it would help him.
Maybe I will enroll him in a 1 hour a week sports program? He would enjoy that.
I really like the 1/2 day preschool because it seems I only have the energy to do active play and activities for 1/2 the day. We tend to go to the children's museum once a week anyway. I don't think I could take the children's museum too many more times a week. Ds already does karate and gymnastics also. The only thing he is missing is 1/2 hour library program once a week, but he gets a similiar circle time at school. I hate for my son to miss out on anything as you can see. Plus he really does love the school he is in. He loves to go every morning.
I have been playing with the idea of pulling him out of school, but I think it is the best place for him now.
Right now, I just want to delay the special ed school until April and possible for ever. You might think I am crazy, but I see tons of progress since we pulled out of special ed preschool the first time.
This is such a New York problem. I hear in other parts of the country you have to sue to get speech services.
You're not crazy, Feona. You're trying to do what you think is best for your child. That's all any of us can do. Big hugs to ya. You're doing a great job, Mom. 
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