My ds has ADHD. He was dx at the very end of last school year. The summer has been a roller coaster of meds adjustments and right now the med he is taking works pretty well during school, but home in an entirely different matter. He is rebounding in the late afternoon and dh and I decided that since this med is working through the school day (no trips to the principals office yet and only minor classroom disruptions about once a day!!!) we will deal with the evenings rather than changes meds again. The area where I am pulling my hair out is mornings. Mornings are horrible with ds. It takes 40 minutes just to get his clothes on. Another 20 to decide what he wants to eat and eat maybe half of it and then he may or may not (usually not) have time to brush his teeth and get out the door in time to almost miss the bus. This happens every single morning and it's only a matter of time before he misses the bus and if that happens we have a real problem because it would be another hour before I could take him to school and that would cause me to be an hour late to work. I don't know what to do to change this cycle. I end up yelling at him half of the time just to get him to move and by the time he gets on the bus I'm miserable (he doesn't seemed phased in the slightest). I've tried getting him up earlier and earlier, but he still nearly misses the bus. I had his hair cut so short that we don't even have to brush it so that would save time, but it hasn't. What works for those of you with children like this? I need some ideas to take the stress out of mornings and get him to do in 1 hour what should only take 30 minutes tops with a minimum of frustration. TIA

By Cat on Tuesday, September 11, 2007 - 07:31 pm:

{{{{{Stacy}}}}} I SO know where you're coming from. I don't have all the answers. I do have some suggestions that may or may not help. First, do as much as possible the night before. Set clothes out, have him pick out what he wants for breakfast, have lunch made and his backpack ready to go, etc. Yes, he may change his mind about what he wants to eat or wear, but he may not and you'll be set there. Also, how are you waking him up? When I really need Robin to get out of bed (not often--homeschooling perk there! lol) I wake him up in stages. So if I need him up by 7 I start waking him around 6:30. I go in, gently wake him up by rubbing his back and telling him it's time to start waking up, and I'll turn on a low light, like his closet light or open his blinds part way (if it's light out). Then I'll go back in about 10 minutes later and wake him again, rubbing his back again, pulling the covers off a bit and turning on another light or his overhead light, maybe a radio. Then I'll go back in after another 5-10 minutes and tell him, "Okay Pal, it's time to get up now." Usually he's awake enough by then to drag his sleepy butt out of bed. lol It's a process for him. For me, when my alarm goes off (usually before) I get up. For dh, he'll hit the snooze a couple of times (drives me nuts because I'm awake by then!). For Robin, it takes quite a while. We usually need the whole half hour to get him out of bed. You could even try putting a couple different alarm clocks in his room--setting them for 5-10 minute intervals. Get creative!

I'm so glad we're not dealing with this problem anymore. The high school bus comes at 6:45am and the middle school bus at 7:30am. I can't imagine getting him up that early every day. Just getting him up in time for church on Sundays is enough for me! lol I hope something I said was of some help. More hugs.

By Jtsmom on Wednesday, September 12, 2007 - 08:35 am:

Stacy no advice because my mornings are the same way. We are having a horrible time, yet again, in school, but the doctor still says that he doesn't have ADHD. I love him so much, but he could be a poster child for it. I think it is time for another opinion. Good luck and if you find something that works, please share. I am so frazzeled at the moment because of our morning!!

By Tunnia on Wednesday, September 12, 2007 - 09:49 am:

Thanks for the advice Cat and the well wishes, Joelle!

Cat, we do put the clothes out the night before, but we don't plan breakfast so I'll try that. I will also try waking him up in stages and see if that helps. I put an alarm clock in his room a couple of days ago, but haven't set it yet so I think I'll try having it go off 5-10 minutes before I go in to wake him up. He does have problems falling asleep that go way back before he even started the meds, but the meds seem to make it worse so I know he has to be exhausted every morning. It's normal for him to still be awake at 11pm at night even though we send him to be at 8:30pm.

This morning was a rare morning and was actually very nice. He got up and got dressed. I cooked him fried rice for breakfast (I'm trying to make sure he gets protein at breakfast and not just carbs). He ate and still had time to brush his teeth and he was out waiting for the bus 3 minutes before it came. I complimented him on his organization and his use of time and asked him what he changed to make this morning better and he said that he started planning this morning in his head last night.

Joelle, I think you should take "J" (I'm guessing you are talking about J and not L) for a second opinion. We knew that there was something major going on with Will very early on, but didn't seek help until things really spiraled out of control in 1st grade last year. What finally pushed us to seek medical help was when he was suspended for a day for his disruptive behavior. One thing we did early on was we started eliminating food dye from his diet when he was 4yo and also started buying more whole foods. We still keep food dye out of his diet, but we have also eliminated BHT (a preservative) and we buy a lot more organic items. I'm also trying to get him to have protein and complex carbs at every meal. The diet changes were enough when he was younger, but eventually were not enough. We have noticed that even though he takes meds now, his diet still affects him so we continue to eliminate food dyes, BHT, and as many chemicals as we can.

By Jtsmom on Wednesday, September 12, 2007 - 10:46 am:

Thanks Stacy, yes it is "J", he has been suspended off of the bus already, for disruptive behavior. The main trouble I am having at home is whining and back talk. I have done everything I know to do. UGHHH
I hope things get better with your little one. I will keep you and little one in my prayers.

By Imamommyx4 on Thursday, September 13, 2007 - 09:29 am:

I don't know how old your ds is. But I am not a morning person at all. It is hard enough for me to get up in the morning much less deal with that. My youngest ds who is ADD was much the same way. And it was easier for me up thru 2nd grade to wake him up, slide a shirt over his head and pants or shorts on. Then I'd pick him up and put him on the couch with the tv on. He got woke up pretty quickly then and was in a good mood. After he ate his breakfast, he would get his shoes and socks on. Then the tv went off and brushed his teeth and went out the door to catch the bus with his brothers. By 3rd grade I couldn't have picked him up. But thank goodness he'd matured a little and would let me dress him anyway. In 3rd grade if I threatened to dress him, that was enough to wake him up. Can't say it was the best solution in the world, but dealing with my morning personality and his, it was easier than the struggle.

By Tunnia on Friday, September 21, 2007 - 05:25 pm:

I just wanted to check back in and let you know that this week has been much better except for Monday when the bus got here before he got out the door. Not perfect, but better. He is still slow, but for the past three days he has actually been ready a couple of minutes before time to go out for the bus. Clothes and breakfast are decided upon the night before and I am sticking to a time schedule of 15 minute time blocks: out of bed at 7:00, dressed and downstairs at 7:15, breakfast is over at 7:30, then teeth, shoes, and misc., and out the door at 7:45. This is working great because we have a clock that chimes every 15 minutes so I am teaching him to listen for the chimes so he knows when to change activities. Ds has always functioned better with a strict schedule and I've known this since he was very small, but I'm not a schedule person at all so this is an area where I, personally, have to work extra hard. Anyway, all this seems to be working for the time being so I'm going to stick with it.

Also, we may have finally landed on an RX that is working. Woo-hoo! His weekly report from the teacher this week was great and his teacher wrote on there that he has really improved in the past couple of weeks and has almost no behavior issues. He is still rebounding in the late afternoon, but we are beyond thrilled that he is finally making it through an entire school day!