The Military Wife
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The Military Wife
This is a story from the Sacramento Bee local paper on Sunday, August 15, 2004...It says the things we all know but find it hard to express some
times. So, this is dedicated to all our wives.
A military wife encounters a World War II veteran at the store.
By Paige Swiney
" It was just another harried Wednesday afternoon trip to the commissary.
My husband was off teaching young men to fly. My daughters were going about their daily activities knowing I would return to them at the appointed time, bearing, among other things, their favorite fruit snacks frozen pizza and all the little extras that never had to be written down on a grocery list.
My grocery list, by the way, was in my 16-month-old daughter's mouth, and I
was lamenting the fact that the next four aisles of needed items would be
missed while extracting the last of my list from my daughter's mouth when I
nearly ran over an old man. This man clearly had no appreciation for the
fact that I had 45 minutes left to finish the grocery shopping, pick up my
4-year old from tumbling class and get to school, here my 12-year-old and
her car pool mates would be waiting. I knew men didn't belong in a
commissary, and this old guy was no exception.
He stood in front of the soap selection staring blankly, as if he'd never
had to choose a bar of soap in his life. I was ready to bark an order at him
when l realized there was a tear on his face. Instantly, this grocery isle
roadblock transformed into a human...
"Can I help you find something?" I asked.
He hesitated, and then told me he was looking for soap,
"Any one in particular?" I continued.
"Well, I'm trying to find my wife's brand of soap."
I started to loan him my cell phone to call her when he said, "She died a
year ago, and I just want to smell her again."
Chills ran down my spine. I don't think the 22,000-pound Mother of all Bombs could have had the same impact. As tears welled up in my eyes, my half-eaten grocery list didn't seem so important. Neither did fruit snacks or frozen pizza.
I spent the remainder of my time in the commissary that day listening to a
man tell the story of how important his wife was to him -- how she took care
of their children while he served our country. A retired, decorated World
War II pilot who flew missions to protect Americans still needed the
protection of a woman who served him at home.
My life was forever changed that day. Every time my husband works too late or leaves before the crack of dawn, I try to remember the sense of
importance I felt that day in the commissary. Some times the monotony of
laundry, housecleaning, grocery shopping and taxi driving leaves military
wives feeling empty -- the kind of emptiness that is rarely fulfilled when
our husbands come home and don't want to or can't talk about work. We need to be reminded, at times; of the important role we fill for our family and for our country."
Over the years, I've talked a lot about military spouses...how special they
are and the price they pay for freedom too. The funny thing is; most
military spouses don't consider themselves different from other spouses.
They do what they have to do, bound together not by blood or merely
friendship, but with a shared spirit whose origin is in the very essence of
what love truly is.
Is there truly a difference? I think there is. You have to decide for
yourself.
Other spouses get married and look forward to building equity in a home and putting down family roots. Military spouses get married and know they'll live in base housing or rent, and their roots must be short so they can be transplanted frequently.
Other spouses decorate a home with flair and personality that will last a
lifetime. Military spouses decorate a home with flare tempered with the
knowledge that no two base houses have the same size windows or same size rooms. Curtains have to be flexible and multiple sets are a plus. Furniture must fit like puzzle pieces.
Other spouses have living rooms that are immaculate and seldom used.
Military spouses have immaculate living room/dining room combos. The coffee table got a scratch or two moving from Germany, but it still looks pretty good.
Other spouses say good-bye to their spouse for a business trip and know they won't see them for a week. They are lonely, but can survive. Military
spouses say good-bye to their deploying spouse and know they won't see them for months, or for a remote, a year. They are lonely, but will survive.
Other spouses, when a washer hose blows off, call Maytag and then write a check out for having the hose reconnected. Military spouses will cut the
water off and fix it themselves.
Other spouses get used to saying "hello" to friends they see all the time.
Military spouses get used to saying "good-bye" to friends made the last two years.
Other spouses worry about whether their child will be class president next
year. Military spouses worry about whether their child will be accepted in
yet another school next year and whether that school will be the worst in
the city...again.
Other spouses can count on spouse participation in special
events...birthdays, anniversaries, concerts, football games, graduation, and even the birth of a child. Military spouses only count on each other;
because they realize that the flag has to come first if freedom is to
survive. It has to be that way.
Other spouses put up yellow ribbons when the troops are imperiled across the globe and take them down when the troops come home. Military spouses wear yellow ribbons around their hearts and they never go away.
Other spouses worry about being late for mom's Thanksgiving dinner.
Military spouses worry about getting back from Japan in time for dad's
funeral. The television program showing an elderly lady putting a card down in front of a long, black wall that has names on it touches other spouses. The card simply says, "Happy Birthday, Sweetheart. You would have been sixty today." A military spouse is the lady with the card, and the wall is the Vietnam Memorial.
I would never say military spouses are better than other spouses are. But I
will say there is a difference. I will say that our country asks more of
military spouse than is asked of other spouses. I will say, without
hesitation, that military spouses pay just as high a price for freedom as do
their active duty husbands and wives. Perhaps the price they pay is even
higher. Dying in service to our country isn't near as hard as loving someone
who has died in service to our country, and having to live without them.
God bless our military spouses for all they freely give.
And God bless America.
By Colonel Steven Arrington
17th Training Wing Vice-Commander
Goodfellow AFB, Texas
Thank you for posting that. I do sometimes feel frustrated with routine/mundane chores, the same-old thing every day. I wish my dh would talk more to me about work. I totally relate. And now, somehow, I feel better. So, thank you. 
Yes thank you. I have tears in my eyes from reading this, so much of it is so true.
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