I just got a call from my KVN saying that they have been delayed another 3 weeks atleast. On sunday it was only 10 days now its 3 weeks. I have been trying really hard not to get too upset over him being there but the depression is really starting to hit hard. I don't even want to get out of bed in the morning as it is...it is so hard to listen to my almost 2 year old cry at the window for her daddy. I can't even take her to the base because everyone she sees in cammies she screams for thinking it is her daddy. A lot of it is guilt I think...We made a decision last year that really back fired on us...He had orders to Camp Pendleton and we thought it would be a good idea for me to go back early from Okinawa to pick up my car from Texas, get an apartment and find a job...he was to follow in 3 months. Well the stop loss/stop move took affect right after I got here and then we went to war. Shortly after the stop move/stop loss was lifted he found out that his orders had been changed to 29 Palms. So I quit my job and packed up my apartment (by myself, tmo refused to help, long story) and moved us to 29. He was home 3 weeks and left for Iraq. Our kids were away from their father for almost 7 months already before he left. Now he has been gone over a month and will be gone for atleast 3 more weeks if not longer. This on top of 2 deaths in the family this year, I lost the big diamond out of my wedding band and my whole family on my dads side is falling apart. I even feel guilty for feeling this way because I know that a lot of wifes have had to deal with their husbands being in Iraq for a lot longer and some of them being pregnant and even having thier babies while their men were gone. I don't sleep very well partly due to what is going on and partly to an annoying cricket that is in my kitchen that I cannot find. It is no wonder why my sister gave me this screen name. Sorry I am rambling but I really needed to talk and I am very against seing a counselor, I have had bad experiences in the past with counselors.

By Palmbchprincess on Tuesday, September 2, 2003 - 02:31 am:

All I can say is big hugs are going to you and DD. I can completely realte, that's why they say (in our branch) "Army wife is the toughest job in the Army" I'm sure the same holds true for Marines. I hope DH is home ASAP. Feel free to email me or whatever if you want to chat. ((((hugs))))

By Eve on Tuesday, September 2, 2003 - 10:26 am:

((Hug)) I don't know how you military wives do it. (My grandmother did it with 7 kids and moving every 2 years!) I just hope your DH is home safe and sound very soon! Hang in there and feel free to vent anytime!

By Karen~moderator on Tuesday, September 2, 2003 - 12:08 pm:

Wow, when I read that title, you don't even want to know what my first thought was!

I'm sorry your DH won't be home as soon as you had hoped. Just hang on, and don't be afraid to post here when you need support.

By Amy~moderator on Tuesday, September 2, 2003 - 02:58 pm:

(((Hugs))) Please just know that this WILL all be over soon. Take things one day at a time, and it will be here before you know it. Every day makes you a stronger person, and you will come out of this stronger than you ever thought you could be. You deserve a medal of honor for all you've dealt with!

By Boxzgrl on Tuesday, September 2, 2003 - 04:35 pm:

Hey, atleast on a brighter note- We Can Go Insane Together!! Sometimes I am completely P.O.'ed at the military, sometimes at DH for joining it and sometimes I shrug my shoulders and shrug thinking "Why should I care anymore? Will he ever be home? How old will DD be when he gets home and how long will it take for her to know who he is?" Sometimes I even wish I had a horrible marriage so that I could just pack up and leave and forget about the heartache. But you know, hes the best husband in the world and in the same sense im soooo lucky to have him and if it takes a lifetime, I will wait. Though I may be a little *crazy* by then!! Just hold on Kristie, it cant be much longer. Just think about that reunion day and how wonderful it will be. Thats the only thing that keeps me sane right now.

P.S. Just had to add that it is official that every military wife that I know that is pregnant or recently gave birth has their DH home. (even ones from DHs unit) Now all I have to say is where is my DH? I had a baby too. What about me? (kinda selfish, huh?)

By Insaneusmcwife on Tuesday, September 2, 2003 - 06:52 pm:

Karen, I didn't mean to startle you..today I read the title again with a clear head and I guess I could have gave it a better one...I'm a better today. I have made an appointment for tomorrow to go back on meds for depression. I went off them a few months ago because I thought I was better but I have to admit I still need help. I used to be against medicating my problems but I found the medication I was on helped so much... Thank you for listening!

By Ginny~moderator on Tuesday, September 2, 2003 - 07:23 pm:

Look, I hear you when you say you have had not good experiences with counselors in the past, but I have had good experiences with counselors, as have members of my family. Please try again, and if you don't think it is a good fit after 3-4 visits, ask for a referral to someone else.
I am one who struggles/battles with depression, as have several other women here, and I find medication can be very helpful at times. I am glad you are considering this.

If it helps, my youngest has been on heavy anti-depression and anti-anxiety drugs for 4-5 years. He used to be quite bitter about it, that he needed drugs to be a "normal" person. I told him, look, if you broke a leg, you'd think nothing of a cast and crutch; if you were diabetic or had thyroid problems, you'd use the insulin or thyroid medication and wouldn't give it a second thought - this is really much the same. Don't think of it as medicating your problems, think of it as treating your problems.

By Jtw on Tuesday, September 2, 2003 - 07:43 pm:

Kristie, hang in there! He will be home before you know it! Something that my SIL does to help her kids count the days until daddy comes home is they made a paper chain when he left with 365 links on it. Each day they take one off so they can see it getting shorter as the time passes. Also they make things and send him stuff all the time. Maybe they could draw him some pictures to give to him when he comes home. I know these things probably will not help a lot, but it is worth a shot! Just keep hanging in there. I know it sucks, but he will be back in your arms soon! If you feel like you are going insane and need to talk you know we are always here to listen! (((HUGS!!!)))

By Amy~moderator on Wednesday, September 3, 2003 - 08:13 am:

Also, you will be surprised how fast 3 weeks or a month can go. My dh just came home 2 days ago, and it seems like it took him forever. Please, please just know that it WILL happen, and this will ALL BE OVER.