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Moms View Message Board: The Fox Hole (War-Related Discussion): The Front Line (Personal Opinions on Hot Topics/Debating Allowed Here): "Axis of Evil" Commentary (John Cleese)
Heard this on the radio a few days ago and thought it was very funny. John Cleese always cracks me up. Received a transcript in e-mail today and decided to share... by John Cleese Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China and Syria today announced that they had formed the "Axis of Just As Evil," which they said would be more evil than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address. Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new Axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are just as evil...in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil.. we're the best." Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. "An axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussien. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So, you can only have three, and a secret handshake." "Ours is wickedly cool," agreed Kim Jong-il. International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, and within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what has become a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan and Serbia announced that they had formed the "Axis of Somewhat Evil," forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the "Axis of Occasionally Evil," while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the " Axis of Not So Much Evil Really but Just Generally Disagreeable." With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the "Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics." Canada, Mexico and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty Thoughts About America," while Scotland, New Zealand and Spain established the "Axis of Countries That Want Sheep to Wear Lipstick." "That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell. While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most of the axis, although he rejected the establishment of the "Axis of Counties Whose Names End in 'Guay," accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Braziluguay denied the charges. Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.
Thanks. There are several friends I will send this to.
LOL! I like that one!
It is funny, but it wasn't written by John Cleese...http://www.satirewire.com/news/jan02/axis.shtml
LOL! Thanks for sharing, I'll have to email this to a few people!
How 'bout that, Anon - not John Cleese after all! Sounds like his style, though, which I've always enjoyed. Funny how quickly it became attributed to John Cleese. I remember that the morning team on our local radio station read it on the air and also said it was by John Cleese but said they couldn't find an audio version of it. So that's why! Thanks.
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