Im putting this here, as I know many people have different opinions on this.
Ok,if were/are breastfeeding, would you let anybody else breastfeed your child? Do you think its right or wrong that some mothers let others do this?
Im currently breastfeeding my 5 month old..There is no way in Gods green earth that I would ever let anybody else breastfeed my babies. (My first was formula fed)my 2nd was breastfed until 14 months, had one bottle a day(normally breastmilk in the bottle but sometimes formula). With Faith its the same thing. She is breastfed, and gets one bottle of breastmilk a day. If I leave her with my husband, he sometimes gives her formula saying it takes too long to warm up the breastmilk from the fridge ...
Anyways, I go to a breastfeeding site, I have gained alot of knowledge from those women.They was a question brought up about other lactating moms breastfeeding babies(of their friends, or family) if they were babysitting etc...Out of 30 responses to that post, only 3 of us were against it. The rest were so gung ho that their babies would never have a drop of formula and would rather have somebody else breastfeed them(if they werent around)then ever give them formula
So how do you all feel about this?

By Karen~moderator on Tuesday, January 25, 2005 - 09:00 am:

Hmmmmmmmmm I'm not really sure how I feel about this anymore. In this day of diseases, medications, allergies, I would have to know someone PRETTY well for that to happen.

However, in many cultures, this is a very common occurrance.

I breastfed both of mine, but the thought of breastfeeding another woman's child never entered my mind. Likewise the thought of another woman breastfeeding my child. I think at this particular time I'd have to say *no*, I wouldn't want anyone else breastfeeding my child. I'm not saying it's right or wrong to do it, but I think, for me, the answer would be *no*.

By Happynerdmom on Tuesday, January 25, 2005 - 10:00 am:

I don't think it's *wrong,* if two people agreed, then go for it. It's not likely to be unhealthy, I guess.(No less healthy than formula, probably.) Personally, I'm with Karen. It wouldn't have even crossed my mind. Like she said, it is common in other cultures (and of course there's even a word for it...nursemaid) but there would have to be some mighty extenuating circumstances for me to do it. In our culture, it seems a little creepy. I wonder why?

By My2cuties on Tuesday, January 25, 2005 - 10:34 am:

no way would I let someone breastfeed one of my children. Nursing is not only to feed but to bond as well, and I do not want my child to bond with another mother, I just do not agree with it...sorry. With formula getting more and more advanced everyday I see no harm in giving a supplement of it once a day. JMO.

I also could not imagine nursing someone elses child...since I have been in the later stages of my pregnancy when I hold a young baby they snuggle up to my breast and I just kind of giggle and hand them back over to the mom and say "I think they're hungry". We both laugh, it is just not common to breastfeed someone elses child...(at least it isn't where I live).

By Sunny on Tuesday, January 25, 2005 - 10:34 am:

I don't think it's wrong, either. I don't know if I would have been comfortable having someone else nurse my kids, but depending on the circumstances, and more importantly the person doing it, I'm not sure how I'd feel.
There is a certain intimacy shared between a mother and her baby when breastfeeding and I know I enjoyed that feeling of having my baby "all to myself" while nursing. Thinking that someone else was intruding on that intimacy would be more of problem for me than the actual act of nursing.

In our culture, it seems a little creepy. I wonder why? I believe that is because our society views women's breast as sexual objects rather than sustenance for infants. That's not to say that breasts don't have a dual purpose, they do, but the idea of a baby suckling at the breast unnerves some people, while others think it should be done behind closed doors and out of the public eye. Those who can make the distinction are, IMO, in the minority. Think about some of the attitudes toward extended nursing (usually refers to nursing after age 2, but I've read definitions of extended nursing meaning after the age 1). I don't see our culture changing it's views anytime soon.

By Cat on Tuesday, January 25, 2005 - 11:07 am:

I don't have a problem with it. Personally, would I do it, either as the nursing mom or the one whose baby nursed from someone else? It would depend on the circumstances. I do know someone who's daycare provider (and I use that term loosely here) nursed my friend's son without her knowledge. My friend felt very betrayed and was extremely upset. What that person did I do believe was wrong, because it wasn't necessary in her circumstance. The child had a bottle, drank from it without a problem (he was almost 2) and was even drinking from a sippy cup at the time. This person did it because she wanted to, no other reason. Wrong. It is very much a norm in other cultures, and it was in ours a long time ago. I do think Sunny's onto something with American culture viewing the breast as a sexual object.

By Palmbchprincess on Tuesday, January 25, 2005 - 11:18 am:

I am all for breastfeeding whenever possible, but I wouldn't want another mom to BF my kids. With the advances of formula, coupled with the possibility of disease I think it is unnecessary to allow another mother to nurse my children. I can control what I put into my body, including any meds or certain foods, but I cannot control what another woman does in that manner. I just wouldn't feel comfortable. There's also the issue of bonding, and letting Dad feed the baby formula is more important to me than using breastmilk at all costs!

By Mrsheidi on Tuesday, January 25, 2005 - 01:25 pm:

Heck, no. That's it.

By Kim on Tuesday, January 25, 2005 - 05:02 pm:

I wanted to breastfeed desperately. I could not produce enough milk and quit trying with Kyle. With Kayla I contacted an expert. I did so many things and pumped and took meds and still produced the same stinking amount. Kayla was so angry from being so hungry that she would not try. I went through months of agony. One of my best friends has six kids and breastfed them all and had been doing it for like 15 years straight or something crazy like that. She was still bf'ing her youngest. I sat down with her and asked her to do me the favour of breastfeeding my child, in person and pumping. I know how she feels about formula. She knows how hard I tried and how upset I was. She agreed. As it turns out, Kayla would not accept her breast easily. And her son was upset if he fed after Kayls because he could smell something different about Mom. Had it worked I would have been so overjoyed. i don't think there is anything wrong with this. There was a time when there was no formula and someone in my shoes would have had to have a wet nurse. Doing it behind someone's back is just plain creepy. I think there is nothing wrong with this. However, I would only ask a really close friend. JMHO.

By Missmudd on Tuesday, January 25, 2005 - 05:58 pm:

I would be very hesitant allowing someone else to breastfeed my kids. Mostly because after I had kids there are "MY KIDS" and then everybody elses kids. I like other peoples kids ok, and I like them more now that my guys are older, but when they were little I was very possesive and kinda paranoid. I didnt like people touching, picking up, or sometimes even looking at them when they were tiny. A little old lady at the store scared the heck out of me because I had one of the guys on my shoulder and she held his hand and I felt the movement. I only stopped myself just in time from shouting at her. So I dont think I would have been open to sharing, maybe if I had a sister, maybe. Now if the world had ended maybe I would change my mind but I dont think in real life I would have been comfortable either breastfeeding someone elses or having someone else breastfeed mine unless it was life or death.

By Ginny~moderator on Tuesday, January 25, 2005 - 07:14 pm:

I don't think it's wrong, per se, and as Kim points out, historically women of means (including women whose families owned slaves) would employ wet nurses - women who had recently given birth and were nursing their own children - to breastfeed the baby. Women selected as wet nurses were rather pleased, because they got a better diet while they were feeding the mistress's baby (not sure how to apostrophize that). Women without money who had no milk would hope for and rely on a neighbor or friend who had recently given birth, if they were lucky.

I do, however, understand all the moms above who say "no way", for a variety of reasons.

Doing it without the mom's knowledge is, I agree, creepy. But otherwise, I don't see anything wrong with it.

By Imamommyx4 on Tuesday, January 25, 2005 - 08:30 pm:

Other cultures do it without issue. And I guess it is probably okay if you know the mother.

But for me personally, it is just too weird. That was bonding time for my baby and me. I guess I'm selfish but I wouldn't want that bonding going on with somebody else.

By Feona on Wednesday, January 26, 2005 - 06:11 am:

I breast feed ds for 3 years...

Last time I looked you could possibly pass aids through the breast milk so correct me if I am wrong about that.

I don't think having another person breast feed you child is recommended in any culture any more due to aids. They would only do it if they never heard of aids.

So of course if the mother was dead and the water is bad like in Africa than it is of course the only choice.

Even if Africa if the water is bad mothers with aids breast feed their babies. The formula with the dirty water would kill their babies.

I mean you really would have to trust the other person to do this. Trust they don't have aids... So I guess if it was a werid marriage with 4 sister brides and one husband or something.... then they might do it. I guess I just don't trust anyone that much. We hardly use baby siters either.

By Feona on Wednesday, January 26, 2005 - 06:17 am:

So it looks like you would have to inspect the person for body piercings and hepatis and other diseases. I get off my high horse now....

http://aids.about.com/od/womensresources/a/breastfeedrisks.htm

By Feona on Wednesday, January 26, 2005 - 06:21 am:

So after reading that I guess if the mother is deadly ill and the water is bad.... Otherwise the mother would take the baby anywhere she goes.... I can't imagine another reason besides death.

By Juli4 on Wednesday, January 26, 2005 - 09:55 am:

ummm not in this culture would I have anyone bf my kids. I could see how it could be convienent though if you have sisters or really close friends. I do not oppose it for any other reason other than a health issue. I wouldn't want daycare workers or anything , but I do know close friends who have agreed on specific times that the other person could nurse the others child. I don't see a whole lot of need b/c we have clean water and formula or pump equipment, but I don't think that it is gross or would cause the baby to be confused on who the mother was.

By Missmudd on Wednesday, January 26, 2005 - 10:50 am:

I do know that in the literature I read while prego that if you breast feed someone elses baby it can bring on contractions. I couldnt imagine doing this but....

By Rayanne on Wednesday, January 26, 2005 - 11:50 am:

There is no way that I would ever allow someone else to breastfeed my baby. I don't care what the circumstance is...it's no.

By Sunny on Wednesday, January 26, 2005 - 12:09 pm:

Stimulating the nipple either manually or by suckling causes the uterus to contract. I guess it could bring on labor if the woman is ready.

I've heard the issue of health brought up and that is a valid concern. On the other hand, there are milk banks around the country that store and distribute human milk, so there is a need for it. But, I don't think there is a right or wrong answer here. It's whatever you are comfortable with.

By Mommyof4 on Wednesday, January 26, 2005 - 03:11 pm:

My grandmother was a wetnurse for another mom's child. Her child was born very premature (62 years ago) and wasn't nursing right away and the other child's mother was not able to nurse and so my grandmother did it for her. This was not someone she knew. My grandmother says it was a win-win situation for everyone.

I'm not sure that I would allow anyone I didn't know very well to breastfeed my child and there would have to be a very good reason for it letting even someone I do know well do it, like if I weren't able to do it at all.

By Cybermommyx4 on Wednesday, January 26, 2005 - 06:46 pm:

NO WAY would I let someone else nurse one of my kids. That said, I wonder if most babies would even nurse from someone else? I know my kids used to scream when ANYONE else picked them up when they were hungry...babies *know* their mom, her smell, voice, etc. Oh, well, I guess I'd never find out because I'd never allow it anyway Too much risk of disease, poor nutrition, medications - you name it. Plus, I, too, think *creepy* about sums it up!

By Juli4 on Wednesday, January 26, 2005 - 06:53 pm:

I have heard from a few older people who have said that their wives or someone couldn't nurse for different reasons and so they took them to a neightbor for the first 3 months to get nursed and then gave them goats milk and mashed food. It was a necessitiy then. Formula probably was not very good and was probably terribly expensive. I would nurse someone child under those circumstances and would appreciate someone doing the same for me, but those were very different times. As far as mnow it is up to them and if two people have an agreement for the sake of convienence or something then I wouldn't find that creepy or anything just different.

By Unschoolmom on Wednesday, January 26, 2005 - 09:56 pm:

If I had another mom I was close to and she was comfortable with it I might rather she nurse a baby of mine then feed him formula if I had no pumped milk availible. My personal feelings about formula are pretty strong.

I can't say I'd be eager for that to happen but I think most of my reservation is a cultural thing, same as my pre-baby reservations about breastfeeding, and would likely but put aside pretty fast if I actually was in that situation.

By Kim on Thursday, January 27, 2005 - 07:48 am:

My feelings about formula are pretty strong also. I really really hated the fact that I could not provide that one very important thing for my child. My friend is a like a sister and I know she doesn't have any diseases. For me, formula was the LAST option. Had Kayla taken to her breast I would have been thrilled. She would still know who her Mother is! I am protective of my kids too, overly bonded, and I still did not have aproblem with it. Most of the time it would probably have been pumped except on the weekends. You might change your mind if it weren't just a flip decision and you COULDN'T provide mother's milk for your child! It amazes and frustrates me the amount of women who won't even give breastfeeding a try!

By Kaye on Thursday, January 27, 2005 - 03:21 pm:

I will agree behind someones back is creepy. I only bf my youngest, was unsuccessful (due to ignorance) with my first and it took me 2 more kids to try it again. I was successful and he had exclusively breast milk for the first 6 months of his life. I hated it though, it was absolutely a means to an end. I did NOT bond with him differently than my other kids. I fed him, he was healthier because of it, etc. That being said, I can understand the function of breastfeeding without emotions. I would of considered buying breast milk, I don't think I would have let them nurse from someone else though. And simply it is sexual, even in all the bf books it talks about "if" you have an orgasm, our bodies are made to be sexually stimulated by suckling on a breast. At the very least it is very intimate and I am only comfortable being that intimate with my family. But I guess if I had a really good friend I would consider it. Interesting. Just for the sake of convience, NO, but from necessity I think it would really depend on the situation and all the options.

By Trina~moderator on Thursday, January 27, 2005 - 05:48 pm:

Obvious health issues aside, breastfeeding is a very personal and bonding experience between mother and child. I would not want anyone else to BF my babies, and for the same reasons I would not want to BF someone else's child. *IF* it were a life or death situation that would be different of course, but the way I see it, my body made milk for my babies. All that said, I don't think it's wrong, as long as both mothers are in agreement. BF someone else's child without consent is definitely creepy!

By Momoffour on Thursday, January 27, 2005 - 09:30 pm:

When my twins were born prematurly I couldn't breast feed my milk would dry up shortly after giving birth or before birth did it with all 4 of my kids. anyway the nurse that took care of the twins asked dh and I if we would let them give the babies donated breast milk. I was kinda dumb founded and she said that some of the Moms who preemies where in the nursery with the twins and would pump more milk than what there babies would eat and they would donate the ohters to the other babies who parents would let them. I really didnt know what to say and the nurse said that it would help to get a little so we agreed and what she would do was mix half and half there formula and the breast milk and they did it the whole 2 weeks they were in there. but if it was a women physically feeding them I don't think I could do it. That is bonding time.

By Katiesmommy on Saturday, January 29, 2005 - 09:19 am:

In a nutshell...NO!

By Yjja123 on Saturday, January 29, 2005 - 03:45 pm:

I could not breastfeed. I did not produce milk. There is no way I would allow anyone (sister, best friend, anyone) breastfeed my child. Formula worked fine and both my husband and I took turns feeding both our children creating equal bonding time. So my answer is no way no how.

By Newmommy2 on Monday, January 31, 2005 - 09:36 pm:

There is no way I would let someone else breastfeed my child. I don't see a problem using formula once in a while if a mother needs to get out. If you don't want to use formula you can pump. If you feel strongly about breastfeeding but you can't you can purchase breastmilk. I don't see a problem with that. It is tested and the baby isn't nursing off of someone else.

By Monicamomof3 on Tuesday, February 8, 2005 - 10:28 am:

I does sound a little weird, but I am sure it is probably our cultural norms that we "filter" any new thing/idea through. America? NO WAY! Europe? Possibly! 3rd world countries? You would be counting your blessings for a nurse maid and for the money you would get from being one!!! I do have to say that if I would ever adopt a newborn, you better believe that I would try to the end to nurse that child! So, what's the difference...really? Also- if something happened and I couldn't breastfeed my natural children I would probably buy breastmilk. No offense, but I prefer my children to drink milk from the human species!

By Breann on Wednesday, February 9, 2005 - 03:09 pm:

I wouldn't let anyone else breastfeed my baby. And, I wouldn't breastfeed anyone elses baby. There are plenty of other ways out there (formula!) to feed babies

By Kaleighsmommy on Thursday, February 10, 2005 - 06:33 pm:

I agree with Breann completely. What if that person ate something your baby was allergic too, or got drunk the night before? It's just too big a risk to take, I think.

By Dawnk777 on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 10:08 pm:

Okay, I just thought of something else! So, someone feeds your baby, like if they were babysitting, or whatever. Then you come home, big and uncomfortable, because it's time to nurse and then find out that your baby had already been fed. That would tee me off. Breastfeeding is supply and demand between you and your baby. If someone else feeds your baby, it messes with the system.

One time, with my older one, we had been gone for the day. It was time to nurse, except that it was time for me to go to work. I ended up not nursing right then. I was miserable. I traded supper times with someone that night, so I could go pump. Ugh. Yikes, I had bad timing that day.

By Jackie on Friday, March 18, 2005 - 06:02 am:

Like Ive always stated, I think its just wrong.Unless you were in some planecrash on a deserted island, and the mom died and the baby needed to eat...And there was a lactating mother there..
AS I dont see that happening in my life, it will always be wrong to me.

By Lorebunde on Friday, March 18, 2005 - 02:30 pm:

I agree. My son is now 14 but I remember I was very careful as to what I ate, drank, just as if I was pregnant, no caffeine. ect.

By Annie2 on Friday, March 18, 2005 - 07:08 pm:

I agree with Jackie. Unless the baby is in dire straights for nutrition I don't think another woman should be a wet nurse, not in these times when we know so much about what is passed through mother's milk.

By Unschoolmom on Saturday, March 19, 2005 - 08:27 am:

Dawn, I'd be ••••••.

I can see letting a friend nurse my baby had we talked about it previously but if she went ahead and did it without permission...She's be up ___ creek without a paddle.

By Unschoolmom on Saturday, March 19, 2005 - 08:29 am:

Wow...LOL. I got little red dots over the word I used...and I thought there was nothing offensive about it (I blanked out the word I DID think could be offensive). Well, the dots are cute.